CONFUSED ABOUT DELEGATING

So...in m new role, a part of my responibility it to share my responsibility. I'm not ready for that. I think that is the hardest part of my new job. Knowing when to share.

I think what got me to this point is that I have always been fairly responsible. I have always wanted to claim my own downfall so to speak. If something goes wrong...I want it to go wrong because of me, and not because I directed someone to do it, and they couldn't/didn't handle it.

I am also not a micro-manager...which comes with delegation. If someone to do something, then I expect it to be done. And this applies to EVERTHING that I do...whether it's at home or at work. So...if I ask you to go grocery shopping, I don't want to make the shopping list for you, then check to make sure that what you brought home was the correct thing. At work, If I ask you to do some light filing, then I don't want you to ask me where each individual file should go. With that being said...if I have to give you step by step hand holding directions as you complete YOUR task, then you are stopping me from doing MY tasks, and I therefore, should have just done the job myself. That has always been my feeling.

Today, I watched one of my staff with a chore. That person is new. That person was missing a material that would be required to complete said chore. Instead of figuring out what to do about the missing material, that person just left the job literally sitting in the middle of my floor. That person went on to do another project, as I guess project A will get done by the project fairy. I said nothing. Just observed. Had it been me, I would have tried to figure out where to get the material on my own. And if that is not a possibilty, then I would have spoken up. But...that's just me.

I think the lesson in that is that common sense is not common. Not everyone can just figure it out. I need to embrace that, now that I've learned it. But in embracing that...I also have to realize that I must learn patience--which i do not have. I have to be patient with the husband that sees me bring home the same groceries every other week, but when he goes to the store, he doesn't know if he should get 18 or 24 eggs, Daisy or breakstone sour cream, and what about if they don't have the broccoli soup that I asked for? Should I get mad if he just ditched the soup instead of trying to figure out an alternative? No...patience. I have to be patient with my staff that has been here for decades longer than I have , but still asks me who signs checks in the absence of the CEO...or the staff whose job it is to vacuum, but will only do so when asked to.

In my "mommy head" I want to do it all. Because I know it will get done and be done the way that I want it to be done. But...the lesson is that I have to learn to delegate with patience. UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!